Monkey Brain

I answer to Caitlin, CJ, Mama, Mommeeeee, Squiggs, Bubba, Caity Pants, and Monkey Brain. I'm a working mama of two boys in the Bay Area, blogging about ADHD, motherhood, and whatnot. Lots of whatnot.
My brother always categorized himself as an underachiever, but after going to law school at 40, he can’t say that ever again #soproud

My brother always categorized himself as an underachiever, but after going to law school at 40, he can’t say that ever again #soproud

Gratuitous picture of your offspring…crazy hair day at school edition #gpoyw

Gratuitous picture of your offspring…crazy hair day at school edition #gpoyw

#mothersday #loveit

#mothersday #loveit

“I crossed out love because I *like* you! “-Jacob #mothersday

“I crossed out love because I *like* you! “-Jacob #mothersday

Mommy! Geh me outta here!! #oyvey

Mommy! Geh me outta here!! #oyvey

The world needs more naked sprinkler running

The world needs more naked sprinkler running

Moody Monday

If you have two children, you don’t have an oldest child. You have an older child and a younger child, and that’s it.

There are certainly more things worthy of my ire, like starving children, gun control, or the treatment of the mentally ill, but I suppose this is easier to ruminate on because it doesn’t really require much work on my part.

I think it bugs me because it doesn’t just demonstrate a lack of knowledge (I’ve heard from more than one graduate of California public schools that they feel screwed as they consult AP style guides at work instead of the knowledge they should have gained by sixth grade), It shows a lack of critical thinking skills.

I make my share of grammatical mistakes, but when I check my grammar, I use critical thinking, not memorization. When to use less vs fewer? Less = how much; fewer = how many. I couldn’t care less; I couldn’t give fewer shits.

To me, words with –est, usually indicate a number greater than two. With two, you can use an –er word. I’m better than you. Many Tumblrs are younger than I. My older son is 5.

When I hear people talk about their oldest or youngest when they have two kids, it’s jarring to me, and yet I don’t correct them out loud because I feel like a jerk. Maybe now that I’m out of the judgy closet I’ll actually say something.

If this post makes YOU feel moody and judged because you talk about your oldest/youngest and you only have two kids, try not to get too upset. The person judging you spent most of last Wednesday not noticing several white smudges and lint on her decidedly black pants. So while you’re grammar may not be the best, you probably are wearing an outfit that is snot and toothpaste free, and that definitely counts for something.

The cooing, cuddles and sweet lisps of babyhood fade, the baby fat melts into knobby knees and elbows, but there is so much pride, wonder and magic in parenting the school age child. Heart. So. Full. #kindergarten

The cooing, cuddles and sweet lisps of babyhood fade, the baby fat melts into knobby knees and elbows, but there is so much pride, wonder and magic in parenting the school age child. Heart. So. Full. #kindergarten

It’s that moment, after spending all morning feeling cute in your animal print top (“Mommy, you’re like a zebra!”) and skinny pants, and you have your #gpoyw caption written in your head (“Leo trapped in a zebra costume!” “Hash tag identity crisis”) and imagining the LOLs….and then you step outside into the sunshine. White schmutz on your black pants, little lint balls sparkling like a Stephanie Meyer vampire in the sun. Cue sad trumpet noise of a deflating balloon…#igotdressedinthedark

It’s that moment, after spending all morning feeling cute in your animal print top (“Mommy, you’re like a zebra!”) and skinny pants, and you have your #gpoyw caption written in your head (“Leo trapped in a zebra costume!” “Hash tag identity crisis”) and imagining the LOLs….and then you step outside into the sunshine. White schmutz on your black pants, little lint balls sparkling like a Stephanie Meyer vampire in the sun. Cue sad trumpet noise of a deflating balloon…#igotdressedinthedark